Monday, 5/28/2012; Poser
Okay, so I don’t really know where to start but, uhmmm let’s see. I some how managed to not get any homework done over the weekend. I would start, but then get distracted, but I was already like focused on homework because of my meds, so I got like hyper distracted if that’s possible. Maybe I was just a bit overwhelmed by the laptop my mom gave me and got a little too carried away with all the reformatting and torrenting and organizing and all that jazz. In the morning I’m going to guitar center after class to see if they can do anything about my guitar, it just doesn’t make any noise ever since I removed the pic guard and lowered the strings. This is the first time I find myself writing an entry on my iPod, it’s a bit odd typing extensively on a touch screen but much easier than I had thought. I became very sad during the evening hours today, sending myself spiraling into a breakdown and then texting Elliot so much I’m surprised his brain didn’t melt. I really hope I can bring myself to do that BMTH cover with him, I need to find a way to practice my vocals and not treat myself like shit and fill my head with doubt and insecurities. Thank you, Karianne Nelson and Nathan Walsh for driving all the way to my house to listen to my mumbled, low self esteem nonsense spew from my mouth and still find a way to help me. I know you guys won’t see this, but really, thank you so much.
I don’t feel so fake anymore, but I still need lots of work.
I still have so much to learn.
